How did it ALL start?
As I was recovering from reconstruction in January 2020, I often think about how food was never amazing during chemotherapy. And, how much it just sucked because all I could taste was metal when I forced myself to eat. I was told chemotherapy is about attrition, I needed food to help my body recover from every round. Food was edible and enjoyable only to a certain degree post rounds of chemo but I never saw food or even life the same. I was relatively young when diagnosed, I just had my 40th birthday in June 2018 and was diagnosed in March of 2019. Like most women, we think about the process of losing our hair and the scars that would maim our entire body for the rest of life, internally and externally. Vanity is a MF’er. And, the steroids they give you to help with energy and strength but made me so swollen, I did not recognize myself.
The First Attempt and a Bit of History
I remember it was during the shut down and during my recovery that I decided I needed to develop a different relationship with food. And, the exact moment it took place was right after I healed from reconstruction- which resulted in more surgeries no person could ever have fathomed. Wild. My dad always told me that I was not the normal person- he believed that I was extraordinary. So, as my appetite came back, I wanted to learn how to cook. And, the first dish would be my mom’s egg rolls.
Good Food is Good Mood…
Mom’s egg rolls brought me back to a time of complete bliss. I was this active little thing in the 80s and I would run around, chasing or being chased by my siblings or cousins, we would be at the local pier. The restaurant was Captain Kidd’s- my parents would buy steamed crab and we would have this legitimate picnic in their outdoor patio. We could smell the ocean as it was about 300 yards from where we were enjoying our afternoon. My family would bring rice, condiments, and the infamous egg rolls. As kids, we would beg to get to order French Fries or even the ever so healthy potato or macaroni salads. My parents are Asian, we didn’t do a lot of cream or milk with food. But as I start this blog/website- I always knew my belly knows best because it completely evoked these emotions and memories with this time in my life. And, I held onto these in hopes for better days, post cancer, post COVID, post all the damn traumas in life. I never knew how interconnected the brain was to everything, actually, I did but the magnitude of my belly and brain is quite remarkable. The crazy thing is it isn’t just about taste, texture, smells and grubbing but the events those moments took place made me want to write this storybook just to help people deal. Please join me as I write about these dishes I’ve come to learn how to cook for the special people in my life. I hope it brings you complete solace and enjoyment during a time of so much division and disaster. I dedicate this to people that have faced traumas and are on the road to thriving…